Thoughts from an expecting mom

This is the journal that I have been keeping over the past couple months. Just my thoughts on baby number three (and four).

Thursday January 6, 2011

Have you ever had a secret that no one knew, that did not know how to tell someone, including your husband, or your best friend? I have had a secret since 12:30 today, and I am scared to death. How is possible how could it be. We just started having the discussions, how could it have happened so very fast (how did it happen before we had the discussions?). I am so confused and so very scared. I hope a good night’s sleep solves it all.

Friday January 7, 2011

Well it is the next day, and a good night’s sleep did not help like I hoped it would. I am still in shock and still a little bit scared. How could my love possibly be spread any more, and my time anymore thinly? One more day till I get to tell my husband, and I know then everything will make since.

Saturday January 8, 2011

Well today is the day – God I hope he does not leave me with all these kids to raise by myself. Pretty sure it would not happen, but for some reason I am so nervous I don’t like keeping secrets from my best friend. We will go out for a nice dinner tonight and I will have a creative way to share the news.

Creative way to share –text sent with big news in subject line, and picture to prove the positive results. Husband is ecstatic, and says very matter of factly with a smile on his face “well all righty then!”

Thank you Nene watching the kids while I hopefully treated my husband to a night that he will never forget!

Sunday January 9, 2011

Best friend knows we are aligned and excited, and feeling much better about our third little blessing that will be here September 16, 2011. Having a hard time keeping a secret!

Monday January 10, 2011

Crap I can’t believe that my paints are already getting tight. I have worked really hard to count calories, eat healthy, and exercise. Two pounds lost since Christmas, but body filling up quickly with lots of good stuff to support baby. This did not happen as quickly with the first and second. I better not gain 60 points. My weight goal is 20 pound. 60 were gained with Taylor and 25 with Emma Grace. Emma Grace’s weight came off easy, but Taylor weight is still hanging around (6.5 years later). I will not gain more than 20 pounds. Oh my goodness I am craving Ginger like you would not believe. I need recipes for ginger whatever.

Tuesday January 11, 2011

Getting excited, looking to see if I can find a baby carrier, so that I can wear my new baby which I see is the newest fad. Aligned with my husband to tell Kellie (my boss) – next week in my one on one that I have scheduled. Wired to tell my boss before my family and friends, but she needs to know so that we can plan accordantly. Had this baby been planned like everything else in my life I would have planned to have him after the first of the year. September will be hard on the team since we are going into our key season of the year. But I have to realize in life that I can’t plan everything. I think this is God’s way of telling me to let go, believe that he has the plan (not me) and that I just have to trust in him. I am stressed out about selling out house, and building a new house. I pray that our house sell soon, or our land sells soon so I have one less thing to focus on.

Wednesday January 12, 2011

Not sure I am going to make it for the next two years without coffee. This pregnancy is going to be a test. Taylor I did not drink Caffeine with – most calm child in the world (in and out of utero). . Emma Grace I had one serving a day (like doctors recommend) – most hyperactive/spastic child in the world (in and out of utero). I am committed to not drink caffeine with this baby, and we will see what happens.

If it is a boy his name will be Preston Anthony. If it is a girl we don’t know what her name will be.

Have I told you how excited Ryan is about a new baby? I did not think he would react this way, but he is glowing, and can’t hardly keep it a secret.

Crap – have I told you how much I am craving ginger? “Help need ginger recipes.” Maybe if it is a little girl we should name her Ginger.

Friday January 14, 2011

Somehow I have gained one pound and my pants are getting very snug. How in the world can either of these be? All I eat are fruit and veggies, and a little bit of protein (and a bunch of water). I will keep doing what I am doing, plus jogging every morning – I will not gain more than 20 pounds!!!!

I am getting really excited – I can’t believe that we are going to have three children. My parents had three children, Ryan’s parents had three children, and my friend Mauree has three children. I can do this. I just worry that I am going to sell one of my children short with their special time. I can remember my love multiplying, not dividing, when I had Emma Grace. I know that will happen again. I just pray that God will help me prioritize my time.

January 24, 2011

The doctors gave me something for nausea, but I am scared to death to take it plus it is not covered by insurance and it cost $200 for a 30 day supply. I think that is God’s way of telling me to suck it up and don’t take the medicine. I am 6 weeks and 3 days today, which is the half way point for getting rid of the nausea. God please let me make it and please let me have a fun time in Disney with my children and my husband – please let me be strong and well for them. Only three more days till we leave!!! I don’t remember being this sick with Emma Grace or Taylor. Even the thought of something will make me gag. The other day I looked in the refrigerator at some left over soup, and I had to run to the sink because I just knew I was going to get sick.

At first I was thinking it was a girl because my face was so broken out (much like with Emma Grace), but then my face cleared up and now I really can’t stomach spice foods (much like with Taylor). I really don’t want to find out the gender, that was the best surprise of my life. Hopefully I can talk Ryan into that as well!

February 25, 2011

State of depression – my OB doctors’ office called today and told me that my Doctor (Dr. Cole) is not seeing OB patients any longer. I love Dr. Cole – he delivered Taylor and I have seen him ever since. I don’t know how I will function without him.

March 1, 2011

8:00 am

Today’s the big day. One hours till the big doctor’s appointment! Hopefully it will go well. I am eleven weeks and four days along, and I have only gained 5 pounds. Yes, I consider that good. I am ¼ of the way through and I have gained ¼ of my planned weight gain. Let’s hope we stay on track.

12:55 pm

Went to our appointment, disappointed about a new doctor, but handled it well. Doctor walked in the room and said “are you ready to hear your baby’s heart beat?” First thing Ryan said was “yes we are ready to make sure there is only one.” She laughed and said “are you worried/have you been having dreams?” My response “well sort of, and everyone keeps commenting that there are two.” So she checks for the heart beat and it take her about 5 minutes to find it – the longest five minutes of my life because at that point I was so worried that something was wrong with baby. Doctor gets heart beat at 161 beats per minutes, and states “I don’t think that there is more than one because that is all I hear and it took me so long to find. But your uterus is measuring big and you might be further along than we thought. Let’s do an ultrasound to make sure that we don’t have to move up your due date.”

Ryan and I head down to the ultrasound room, and the tech starts doing her thing, and within 30 seconds she says “you’re having twins and that is why your uterus is measuring big.”

Oh Shit. We are having twins.

They are healthy and everything looks good. They are actually measuring a little bit bigger than we thought. They are measuring 12 weeks and 1 day, and we thought we were 11 weeks and 5 days. They are both in their own sack. Not sure what that means yet, but I will be doing lots of research on twins. Healthy babies are all that we are praying for right now, God will make the rest fall into place. This is His Will, and we will carry thought with it to the best of our abilities.

Twins, who would have thought? More to come I can promise.